Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
