If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
