She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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