so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We are all done wearing pants today
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
