I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
