I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
