GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
