return my video game
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
