She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
