she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
