Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
