legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
jump out the window naked night went bad
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
