is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
