His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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