batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
