dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
