my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
