Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
