are you still at the devil's house?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
