I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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