you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
