not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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