If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Quick, to the slutcave!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
