a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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