we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
