Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
