all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
