Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
As shirtless as possible
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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