this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
