I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
