You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
