Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
