Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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