I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The uberlube is also flammable
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
