can we get nightvision for the apartment?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
