new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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