do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They took my balls.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
