A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My vagina is very pro this idea
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