I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
