I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
