On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sorry my hands just texted you
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
