I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
