That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
