so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
operation have a gay friend backfired
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
