Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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