Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
