why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
