Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
