oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
