So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
