his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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