Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
