thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
